In August 2025, I had the opportunity to join Mike Goldman on The Better Leadership Team Show for a conversation that goes to the heart of effective leadership:
You must lead yourself before you can effectively lead others. This wasn’t a discussion about strategy or performance metrics alone. It was a deeper exploration of willingness, ego, self-awareness, and what truly differentiates high-performing leadership teams.
Here are a few of the key themes we explored.
1. Willingness: The Trait That Changes Team Dynamics
When asked about the most important characteristic of a great leadership team, my answer was simple:
Willingness.
Willingness to:
- Look at yourself
- Notice how you’re showing up
- Take responsibility for your inner reactions
- Stay open when it would be easier to defend
Without willingness, growth stalls. With willingness, everything becomes workable.
2. The Leadership Ladder of Consciousness
We also explored what I call the Leadership Ladder of Consciousness. This framework is inspired in part by David Hawkins’ Map of Consciousness and the work of master coach Steve Chandler, who speaks about levels of consciousness and responsibility.
2025.08.22 Air Date – Mike Gold…
I’ve applied these ideas specifically to leadership. When leaders operate from:
- Blame
- Defensiveness
- Judgment
- Ego protection
They are “down the ladder.” When they operate from:
- Self-awareness
- Responsibility
- Curiosity
- Creative problem-solving
They move “up the ladder.” Leadership effectiveness is not just about skill. It is about state. And state impacts everything — decision-making, team trust, performance, and culture.
3. The Mirror: What Bothers You Is Information
One of the most powerful tools we discussed was something I call “the mirror.” If something deeply irritates you in another person, it’s worth asking:
- What meaning am I assigning to this?
- Where might this be showing up in me?
- What part of me feels threatened or protective?
This isn’t about blame. It’s about freedom. When leaders release judgment, they regain clarity. And clarity changes how they lead.
4. Label Jail: How We Block Growth Without Realizing It
We also talked about a concept I call Label Jail. This happens when we define people by:
- A mistake
- A past performance dip
- A single frustrating behavior
When we lock someone into a fixed label, we stop allowing for growth. Strong leadership requires accountability. But it also requires the willingness to let people evolve. Without that balance, teams stagnate.
